The Witch Doctor
[by Popmonkey]Wednesday, August 3rd, 2005 at 5:05 amJim Race called Rossi The Sorcerer after Donington for pulling lap times 2 seconds faster than anyone else on the wet field.
But I think I’ve got a new name for him… The Witch Doctor
* * *
July 31st 2005, Sachsenring, MotoGP race, Final Lap
Inside Sete’s head:
I’m going to do it. I’m really going to do it. Rossi is not going to beat me this time. I’m going to win. The curse will be lifted. I will be The Hero of Spain. I will clear my name and no one will ever doubt me aga…. OWWWW MY HAND!!! WHAT IS THAT PAIN???!! OH GOD IT’S AWFUL. KATOH! HELP ME! OW. .. Oh crap, I missed my braking point!!! Oh God no, no no no no no no no no…
* * *
It is October 2, 2004. Qatar. The infamous Hoover Scooter incident. Rossi crashes, Gibernau takes the win.
That night, an ancient ritual takes place. Rossi and Burgess work by the light of candles. Rossi waves his hands in the air, Burgess nods and makes notes. Ingredients are gathered, a curse is cast, and a small likeness of a human remains in the center of the strange symbol of 3 tuning forks in convergence. The human likeness consists of:
- Two skewers from a recent tapas meal
- A sprinkling of saffron
- An eye of a toro
- Moss (with mullet)
- A sim chip from a Movistar cell phone
Rossi tests the small effigy by sticking a needle in its head. Far away, Esther Cañadas is awakened by her boyfriend screaming himself out of his nightmare.
Sete wakes up in a cold sweat.
But the nightmare doesn’t end… It never… ends…
August 3rd, 2005 at 6:15 am
You forgot the chicken bones scattered in the dust, some with meat still fresh yet inedible, some carbon dated to the bronze age.
It’s rocket science with a twist. Rossi has the thumb screws, and you know who he’s twisting them against. The picture I have put up on the front today, courtesy of Gauloises Yamaha (Thanks, Becky!) says loads to me when I look in his eyes. I remember Vale as a child, constantly determined to play a prank or “just have fun”. He still is that way, but I’ve ben watching motorcycle racing for some 20+ years now. While I know it’s just a promo still, I don’t think I’d want to come against him in a dark alley.
While I am loathe to ever declare a single rider the “greatest of all time”, a title I still hold dear for Joey Dunlop I will say that this man may not be beaten until he decides it’s OK to not win. I wish I could have that mindset. I think there are very few humans on this planet that have that confidence, and it makes me wonder if Vale is simply… Not human.
Michelle is right in some ways. He’s outfoxed them all in the mind game. How can you fight the feeling you’re racing for second?
The very fact he only re-upped with Yamaha (not-unexpected) says to me he has further plans. The punster i me left a silly alt-text on the image on the main page. If you don’t read them on a regular basis you may wan to start. I’m quite the smartass.
-jim
August 3rd, 2005 at 8:50 am
i don’t know jim. this is one race where i think sete was going to win. rossi got close on the penultimate, as close as 0.04 secs, but then sete fought back to 0.2 again by the end of the lap.
i think if sete hadn’t made the mistake rossi would have fought very hard, but maybe he would have failed. i really thought sete had it.
he really really blew it.
re: joey dunlop
it’s impossible to compare joey and rossi. two totally different kind of racers. rossi would never last at a street race, he doesn’t have that kind of courage (raw balls). on the closed circuit, joey was not precise enough. they could never compete on the same ground.
August 3rd, 2005 at 9:17 am
haha… very clever post Jules… I like
August 3rd, 2005 at 1:09 pm
lol….look out for Gibernau’s protective amulet or the circle of salt on his grid slot at the next gp!
August 3rd, 2005 at 6:20 pm
well, the fingerpointing toward the heaven hasn’t help. God (not Lawson) is probably bored already and he stopped listening long time ago.
August 6th, 2005 at 10:40 am
I think it fits under that article
think about it as a 6th sense - when bike detects you’re “out of position”, it corrects you.
http://slashdot.org/article.pl?sid=05/08/06/0529229&tid=126
I think it may solve some of puzzles, why rossi is so good. And why some racers tend to drift wide on cruicial moments
Also, did you know that Tiger Woods has 20/10 vision?
http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2005/07/22/EBGNBDPUSP1.DTL
wait til racers start to do them, aside of “armpump problem”
I received a little book with my international racer licence and there is a hell of a long list of substances you should not have in your blood when tested.
Lance Armstrong had extra test done to him when he won the tour the Lance. But as Mat Mladin said: “It couldn’t be that he just plain works harder than the rest and wants it more than the rest. The satisfaction that he gets every time he kicks butt must be enormous. Congrats Lance, you’re an inspiration. ”
“Sir, we found enourmous amounts of traces of motivation in your blood. Can you explain that?”
:)
August 6th, 2005 at 7:33 pm
Also, did you know that Tiger Woods has 20/10 vision?
So do I, but it doesn’t help me much.
-jim
August 6th, 2005 at 8:32 pm
From “Silver Dream Raver” movie I just watched (again!), the antihero says: “I race every lap as it was the last lap.” Every corner, every inch, maybe. As fast as you can, but you don’t wanna mess it up, the last corner, would you.
I don’t understand that 20/20 vision system US have anyway. He has sa telescopic vision or what?
August 28th, 2005 at 1:58 pm
now that brno is over it looks like a voodoo doll of a movistar honda exists in the yamaha paddock as well…