2002

4-Stroke revolutions. Like teenage sex, everybody is talking about but only some will get any. There we are, first race. Main contenders for championship are title defender Capirossi on Honda, Biaggi on Yamaha and probably Barros and Nakano. Nippon boys have made one-rider team Repsol Honda. Rider: Tohru Ukawa, Seasoned samurai from sushi land. It’s not enough that Honda has championship winning bike. They need Japanese Champion as well. And the game is on.

With the first race, overachievers Biaggi and Ukawa both fall. Race is won by one-win-wonder Akira Ryo, Telefonica Movistar Suzuki. Capirex is 9th, Barros 6th.

Second race - Ukawa shows the jelly he has feed all those years and wins. Biaggi pushes the bike to the limit and finishes 8th. Capirossi is 2nd and happy as kid.

Third race - Kato brings home winning trophy, Ukawa is second (yes, it’s permitted to lose to your fellow ninja) and third is regaining his form His Majesty Champion Capirossi.

From there on, Biaggi makes a vow that no pizza will baked unless he starts getting the podiums. Or wins, if the equipment is there. Off he goes, string of 7 podiums, last 3 of them wins. Only silent races Ukawa is strong enough to follow the pompous imperator on his crusade.

Then it gets sort of boring until before the last race. Ultimately Ukawa has 236 points and Blasting Biaggi has 232 points. The one who wins the race, wins the championship. Barros wins the race. Biaggi is second and Ukawa would be 4th if he would dare to cross the finish line where his and Hondas whole family is waiting to beat him to death with chopsticks.

He is never seen on MotoGP again until on 2004. Capirex has had a year to forget and crashes on lap 11. He makes it a habit. And then switches to Ducati next year because Honda does not tolerate losers, former World Champions or not.

Meantime, some unknown dude Valentino Rossi has found his dream girl and is planning to settle down. Of all the possible apartment numbers he likes the 46 best. Apt 46, Neverdid street 3, Tavuglia.

Final Points:
Biaggi 252
Ukawa 249
Barros 235
Checa 170

In alternative universe, player No# 46 had 355 points.

2003

Biaggi is so high from last year that he needs a flying permit and an oxygen mask. Who wouldn’t? He proved that he is the man.

Who counts, not Aprilia (everybody said that Aprilia had the best bike), not Honda (that 1998 was a fluke anyway) and he stormed the paddock with underdog, a little Yamaha that could. What’s next? Surely when he took Yammi to the championship, Bold Biaggi moves on to … surprise! Honda! No kidding. Everybody and their dog thinks that Honda has the best 4-stroke bike and Biaggi has no problem proving that too. Check it. Also, if he wins the title with Honda, he would be second man after Lawson to win back-to-back titles with different manufacturers.

First race, Biaggi dominates and rolls over finish line with comfortable 2 second lead over … Gibernau. I mean, who gave that wobbly kid a bike? Well, that kid wins second race and from that win starts all too famous finger pointing to the sky tradition. Biaggi is furious and asks Honda to make equal equipment more equal. Sure enough, next race Gibernau falls and Biaggi wins. Not too shabby.

Next, 4th race again Gibernau wins! And Biaggi is not even on podium but receives a wooden medal. Come on! Make it equal! Then, 5th race Capirex, World Champion of 2001 shows some unusual form and wins the race. Biaggi is second and Gibernau assumes midfield finish position. Biaggi is happy and lets his guards down.

Then what follows is a story that will be told to sons of the sons of sport historians: Gibernau makes it 11 podium finishes, right to the last race of season. He is like maniac from race to race. No horseplay, no funny faces, no headshaking and he never looks at his rear tires. Ever. Biaggi let his guards down and finishes 5th race down in 12th place. No new parts to Biaggi bike evermore from Honda. They are now all over the Gibernau garage.

Surely, Biaggi must step up the pace. But no avail. When he is on podium, Gibernau wins. And what’s worse - Gibernau never falls when Biaggi falls twice. Racing on the edge could be error prone. Biaggi blames mechanics and from that time is also famous: “You’re all bunch of gypsies!”.

And that’s how the year ends: Gibernau takes the title with 314 pts, Biaggi is distant second by 48 points, but almost 2 race wins and he’s furious. Third, Capirex who regained some form after he DNF-ed 3 times in first 4 races with 211 points and fourth young American Nicky Hayden who gained 2 second places and one third in last four races. Europeans, you better be afraid. He also receives Rookie of the year title. 154 points.

Meanwhile, Valentino Rossi decides that Italian weather is too warm and sunny and decides to move to England. Rain is what calms his heart which is full of fire. Knitting and late night poetry hasn’t helped much. He decides to visit a psychiatrist to see if there is anything he can do with his anxiety. The guy from alternative reality with same name got 357 points.

Biaggi swears he will be back on form in 2004. Gibernau releases hit single “Another one bites the dust: my early years of motorcycle racing. (…are over) radio edit”. Capirossi seeks help from Buddha monks and finds peace.

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